Final is officially over and I thought it's a fantastic day having great time shopping with the family and mk. Everything seems to be fine until the clock strucks 12 and here comes Cin Hing's birthday. I wished him and then reminded gorgor to wish him as well. However, bad news came by. It's a news of a friend of a friend of mine commited suicide. I tried comforting him and his replied was, "I can't accept it." Of course I know. Eventhough I haven't experienced that before but it seems like I could feel the pain. The pain felt by the friend of mine who've lost a very important friend of his. I may not felt as bad as what he feels. I might not understand and wouldn't have those regrets of not able to save a life. But still, seriously, I feels it. And the feeling is real!
Welcome to the reality. There are no beautiful stories with "lived-happily-ever-after" endings. We have to accept the truth that someone is gone. Even the truth is always the hurtful ones, we have to take it no matter how. There is no way to escape from the reality. It haunts us and we are going to live under it until we learn how to face it. It is understood that to face the reality is not an easy lesson to learn. The lucky ones master it fast, paying less and the unlucky ones might trapped in the world of his on, escaping.
What if this happens to me? I can't afford to lose anybody I appreciate, people I love. I feel really bad at this moment. Unwanted thoughts are running all over my mind now and I really need laikenhong right by my side, right here, right now. I want to feel that he's with me. I want to feel alive.
I'm learning to accept death. I'm trying hard.
and most of all, I need you, I really do.
at this moment, at least.
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