It's a common thing when people say "I love you" you say "I love you, too." But what would you say if people, or your close friend say "I hate you" ? Would you say "I hate you, too" or would you felt a huge rush of disappointment and heart broken. It's easy to become a friend to someone but hey, hanging out with each other for more than a year? The last person you see before you go to bed and first person you would call when you're waking up so late in the afternoon and you are hungry. How many people have friends like that? I bet not much. You have no idea how I feel when you turn your back on me. You haven't experienced that before, have you?
So that girl doesn't like me. I don't feel anything. I don't care about her. Seriously. It's you and you that I care about. But when I see how you stop talking to me and don't even bother to look at me for one damn second when that damn 'thing' is around, my heart broke into a million pieces and you don't see how much it hurt!
Again and again, I thought maybe I should stop talking to you. I defended you from my friends because I thought that I am still your friend. But no, you just proved me wrong. I really shouldn't have defended you and all these while I knew you have never defend me a little. I thought we knew each other well. Again, I was wrong. Why? When I decided not to talk to you anymore, you said Hi. When I see hope, you drag me to hell almost INSTANTLY. Or to better describe it like I've said that to you, you throw bombs at me!
Sometimes I wonder, do you worth all the pain?
Everyday I taught myself that you are not worth it. But every night before I go to sleep, I still have the urge to say good night to you.
I know that I am ridiculously stupid. But no one taught me how to let go of a friend.
Still, when I see you or even when it's just on MSN, the way you say 'Hey' feels like stranger to me. I really don't know if I should still ask you out or not.
Sometimes I wish I can mirror you. I wish I could show you what you did to me so that you feel how I feel.
Other times, I wish I would just die and see who would tear for me. Would you?
On the way back home, I was hoping for a message. I was hoping that you'll ask to inform you that I'm home safe. But no, no nothing.
I felt like a complete outsider even when they haven't called.
When they called, I am completely invisible. I vanished right away when your phone rang and it's them. Suddenly, it's all about them.
I wish there's a hole for me to hide right away. But still, I can hear how they didn't want me to be there.
I don't belong to the group and I didn't hope that I'll belong or fit in.
All I'm asking for is you to be my friend, like you used to be. But to you, it seems like I'm asking for too much.
When I feel like a piece of shit today, still, I.W.Y.W.H.
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