Happy 'Papa' Day.

Today should be a day to show our dad how much we love him.
But for me, I feel a gap between me and my dad as we rarely talk to each other.
Our daily conversation will be,
"Have you taken your dinner?"
"How's your studies?"
"Where you went just now?"
"Who you went out with?"
"Still got money anot?"
"Car still got petrol anot?"

Yes.
Just these simple questions.
I never talk to my dad much bout my life, my day and my feelings.
I don't feel like talking to him about my personal problems.
Maybe this cause the gap between us.

It's very obvious that my dad cares for me most.
He'll get me whatever I want.
As long as he can afford it, he can make it, he'll do for me no matter how.
I know. I really know who much my dad loves me.
However, my dad is also a person who's not good in words.
So, we never communicate well since I was young.
All I remember was him scolding me.
And sending 'I love you' in sms when he's drunk.

This year, I bought my dad a shirt.
A very simple one.
I was hoping that he'll like it.
But all he say was,
"I ask you not to buy clothes for me, it's a waste of money."

I'm disapointed.

Then, I tell him I bought a cake.
So, we cut the cake, snap some pictures and then we share the cake.
Again he say,
"Why waste money? Not birthday no need buy cake."
Fine!

At least I know I did something for him.
Not like my brothers and sister.
They did nothing at all.
They never even care to invite my dad for dinner.
I'm angry with them!

I wanted to tell my dad I love him.
But the words just don't come out.
Unlike me and my mom.
I can tell my mom a million times that I love her.
But when I'm facing my dad, these words just don't come out.

Since I can't tell my dad directly, I decided to just say it here.

"Dad, I love you =)"